Ever remember that Standby Sheet we used to have? You know, the one where you put your name down if you were available for overtime and the shift looked light. Come on you remember, you got your mates to take some holiday, put yourself down for standby, went out at one minute past eight so's you couldn't get called and got paid 20 pounds a time for it. Still not with it? Duh. Well, you only did it for your mates and you only gave standby and/or overtime to your mates, and if there was a good chance of picking up a cool 200 pounds on a said standby shift then you only told your best mates. It was called, a cartel. Or some said this anyway, and hence the birth of the Cartel Cup. Cos it was around about this time that The Cartel Cup was born.

It was the first ever Cup competition in Passjams history, soon to be followed by The League Cup, another cup which I can't remember the name of, and the following year The Joint Cup.

Mr Smith (the jammy tosser) had the honour of winning the trophy in it's launch year,1994-5. No-one knows how he managed this but he goes on about it every flippin' time anyone so much mentions anything about cups. Heck, HE doesn't even know how he managed it (although that 20 quid was most appreciated Smithy, not to mention the extra 4 standby's I got that month - cheers mate).

Confusion sets in here though, cos it's Michael Tharby's name that appears on the trophy for season 94/5, something to do with having to rename one of the other Cups , I dunno (well it was four years ago, come on).

Titty Taylor was next in the pecking order, proudly presenting the 1995/6 trophy to his mother one evening (who he still lived with at the age of 45 the great big woman), "look what I've won mummy, I am so happy" he said. He did you know, he really did, you ask him. No-one quite knows how he did it either, was that the year no-one else entered cos the entrance fee had doubled to 28 pence?

1996/7 then, and in step Mr McJock McRamsay with a mean and ruthless run of tight defence and penalty shoot out wins or something. Jock managed to win cos he always brought most booze to the parties and we felt sorry for him cos he was going through his bloated drunken phase (his words - just look at the guestbook). Anyway, well done and since we never got Passjams started in 1997/8 season I suppose that means Jock is still the current holder - which doesn't explain why the trophy sits proudly on my window ledge. Though it makes the neighbours dead jealous you know. And it DID help me in scanning it in. Must remember to bring it up next week.

And that's it. I was right, History certainly did take it's time.

I've had a look at the newspaper, and scribbled some figures on the 
back of a fag packet, and am proud to present the results of the Cartel
Cup 1st round.


Salty Custard (SW) 8, Hilleroed City (AT) 10
Willys Wanderers (IW) 3, Stars of Track & Field (SM) 2
Cartoons KickAss (PS) 1, Whinging Hinnys (JW) 9
Flobalob (AC) 17, Cardiff Bishbash (SR) 2

SEMI FINAL RESULTS :

Hilleroed City  1 v 2 Whinging Hinnys (almost a REAL footie score there)
Willys Wanderers 16 v 11 Flobalob (not like a real footie score at all)

Remember the home team started on 1 point, and in the event of a tie, 
the away team progress to the next round. Simple it is not.